For anyone needing a little light relief. Please add more!

I just saw Elvis coming out of B&Q.
He returned a sander.

Dire Straits and Chris Rea are to join forces and form a new band.
They're gonna be called Chris Straits.

I'm addicted to buying Beatles records.
I think I need Help.

Just heard some music coming out of my printer.
It was the paper jamming.

How to audio files say hi to one another?
They just .wav